Feedback Thoughts

Feedback Thoughts

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(Mimi and Eunice "angry person" comic by Nina Paley)

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The article that was most interesting/helpful to me personally was the article on praise that promotes narcissism vs healthy self-esteem. Because of my job as a retail store manager and the career I want to pursue, giving out proper praise is something I am constantly working on. Granted this article used children as the main receivers of praise, but I feel as though there were some pointers I could implement in my life now.

I want to try working on rephrasing my praise in a healthier way. I think as I am working and running around my praise ends up being generic and could potentially promote narcissism. Instead of saying a simple good job with no specifics, I could say "I really loved how you built a relationship with that customer."

As I said before, my job and career pursuits require me to not only give praise/feedback but also take it. While I mostly get my experience with feedback from my job, as I start to explore the factions of psychology (what I am going to grad school for, most likely), I am realizing that feedback will only grow to be an even bigger part of my life.

My favorite strategy to use when giving feedback is usually to ask questions. Whenever I have come out of a bad experience with feedback, the one complaint I usually have is that I felt like I was being talked at or down to. By asking questions, the person giving the feedback keeps the atmosphere of a conversation which leads to a proper pinpoint for improving rather than scolding and leaving the worker to feel bad.

I react differently to negative feedback depending on the what environment I am in and who is giving me the feedback. In any sort of business or school setting, any negative feedback I get I deal with very rationally. Most of the time if it is warranted then I already expect it but if I feel as though they are wrong I will present my side of the argument. But if it is my dad who is giving me negative feedback on my personal life I feel really dejected or incompetent, not because of the way my dad presents but because it means I am disappointing him in some way.

I have learned a lot from my roommate's style of giving feedback. My roommate is an early childhood education major so proper feedback is her realm of expertise in a way. Since she is a senior now, she has settled into utilizing all the tips she has learned throughout college with no pausing or rephrasing. It just shows me that you can get better at giving feedback and that it does not happen in a instance.

Story: Cupid and Psyche

A Lovers' Poem

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(Venus Assigns a Task, by Giordano)

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A young maiden kidnapped, afraid

Taken one cold night in a thieves' raid

Scared, she was of a fatal nightmare

An old woman said in comfort, "there, there"

And so begins the telling of a tale

Of a maiden, so innocent and pale

Of her undying love to an unknown god

Despite understanding that the love would be flawed

Psyche was the name of girl with a beauty so rare

Worshipped she was, for a man would never dare

To touch or marry a maiden of such grace

Sad, her parents were for the marriage that disappeared without a trace 

Up, her parents went to pray to for their girl 

The response that came made their stomachs curl

Cursed, Psyche was, doomed to marry a creature

All for the reason of being a beauty worthy of a feature

The curse, you see, was commanded by Venus

Betrayed by her worshippers, she hatched a plan of genius

Down, she sent Cupid, her beloved son

To kill poor Psyche, only then has Venus won

Yet once married off to a creature with great fear

Psyche came upon a place that she found so dear

All the riches and beauty she could think of

She thought "Oh my, this could be a place of love!"

Late a night after invisible helpers tend to her bath

She found walking to her bed on a laid out path

Almost fast asleep she was 

But then fast awoken by an unlikely cause

Hands, she felt caress her fair skin

"Aha!" she thought, "this is him"

The man she was supposed to marry 

Yet with the lights off, her thoughts were still wary

"Worry not, my dear love," he said

"I will visit you every night in this bed."

"But do not ever seek out my face,"

"Or this love will have fear take its place."

Faithful as ever, Psyche did listen

And on her days went while the sun glisten

Then news of her sisters' search for their supposedly dead sister 

Had Psyche begging for time away from her mister

With great feeling did the man warn her

Her sisters would turn on her and call her by a slur

Nonetheless after much begging from his lovely wife

The man granted Psyche's wishes despite his great strife

Welcomed were Psyche's sisters into the great oasis

Feasts. gold paved roads and beautiful garden were the basis

Yet once the sisters started questioning the man's looks

Psyche lead them out fast, with gold, dressed and books

Offended, were the sisters of the youngest's cockiness

And thus they devised a plan, one quite obvious

They were to make her drunk with wine

Then ask again of her husband to catch her in a bind

Back the sisters came with the plan in motion

Yet once again Psyche's husband warned her of her sisters' veiled emotions

"Remember, tell them nothing of my face or qualities,"

"Or else you face a punishment that cannot be compared to any quantity."

Despite her husband's warnings Psyche drank the night away

And when asked of her man's features, Psyche did not remember the warning of the day

So off she went describing a man she had never seen

Leaving clues that the sister picked up because they were so keen

Once again the sisters hatched a plan

To convince poor Psyche that her husband was damned

"You see my dear sister, the only way to know,"

"Is for you to shine a light on him, even though he said to not do so."

Convinced, Psyche waited until nighttime to shed light on her man

Her first reaction, a gasp, upon his face she did scan

The husband she thought unknown was a god indeed

The son of Venus, Cupid, a man of great creed

Suddenly awaken by the candle's wax,

Appalled did Cupid seem by his wife's betraying acts

"How dare you fail the one command I gave,"

"And what, for you, I almost lead myself to an early grave?"

You see, Cupid had shot himself with an arrow

To mask his love with Psyche from Venus' vengeful sorrow 

"Now that my dear love has betrayed me,"

"Off I leave, for you I never again see."

Wings aflutter, Cupid leapt into the air

Psyche, distraught and ridden with despair

Found herself lying on the ground, her heart broken

Only to realize it was by the Pan, she was awoken

Pan, the god of the wild, told her of what to do

"Seek his worship once again and your love will pursue."

Out into the world did Psyche go

Hatching a plan for her evil sisters that only true vengeance could know

Disguising herself with great pity and despair

Psyche looked upon both sisters and said,

"My god, Cupid, only wants you both,"

"All you must do is go to the mountain and say an oath."

Eagerly both the sisters did flee 

Up to the mountain they went to plea

Unmet, were the sisters with great love the wanted

And to their deaths did they fall, always to be haunted

Meanwhile, Cupid was being punished by Venus

Betrayed, she felt by Cupid's keenness

To shoot himself instead of Psyche's heart 

Meant he valued her love as just a start

Enraged, Venus sought out Psyche for her head

Psyche actually came to her instead

"Please let me be a part of my love's life."

"Of course you can be love," Venus said, "but not without strife." 

Venus sent Psyche on a number of tasks

Only with great struggle and fight would Psyche pass

The first to separate seeds, the second to find the golden fleece

The third to fill a flask with a river's water, the fourth to bring her beauty from her niece

Furious was Venus when Psyche completed each chore

Despite Psyche's victory, "Never will you marry Cupid," Venus swore

In strife, Cupid begged of Zeus 

To let him and Psyche marry, laying out a truce

Thus Zeus promised Cupid his wife

Only on the condition they had a feast to celebrate life

During the feast did Cupid and Psyche marry 

Happy and Lovely did they look, their love as beautiful as fairies

To the end did the Old woman reach

The end of a story the kidnapped girl longed to reteach 

Calmed down she was after a nightmare that seemed true 

Yet thanks to this tale, no longer she felt blue

. . .

Based off of Apuleius' Cupid and Psyche as translated in English by Tony Kline (2013).

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Author's Note

For my first retelling of a story, I decided to challenge myself by making a stylistic change in the writing rather than flip the story on its head. Even though the latter might be more interesting, the latter also comes easier to me because I am allowed to do whatever with the story. By changing the story into a rhyming poem, it forced me to take better care of the material while writing it in my own way. Additionally, I definitely was not planning on writing this much but I could not help but want to leave in as many details as possible in this stylistic change of the story. I had to compress and mold some more intricate parts of the story to shorten the length of the poem, which was an interesting obstacle. Nonetheless, since it was stylistic change rather than a complete revamp the story of Cupid and Psyche still comes across well with all the plot points being clear and concise (well as much as they can be in a rhyming poem). Hopefully, the poem was an easy but entertaining read despite its length. 

Reading Notes: Cupid and Psyche Part B

Reading Notes

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Cupid and Psyche, Part B 

(Venus Chides Cupid, by Giordano) 

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Retelling Ideas

• While this is not an idea for a retelling, I found the author's note above to be quite informative and helpful in understanding Venus' emotions when handling Cupid's betrayal. Even though most would understand falling in love, the actual goddess of love herself had a tormented love life, which lead to reactive emotions whenever she was challenged in any way. So to have her own son lay with the very mortal woman who caused Venus' worshippers to leave their post in order to worship a common woman was an ultimate act of betrayal. 
• Also it is quite interesting to learn the Roman names of the Greek gods and goddesses I am so familiar with.
• Possibly writing the story from the goddess, Juno's (Hera), perspective could prove to be interesting as she is seen as the mother of the gods and goddesses perhaps she knew of the story all along and thought of it as a lesson for her children?
• A comparison to Cinderella can be found in the tasks Venus' calls upon Psyche to do, maybe tell Psyche as a fairytale much like Cinderella or Beauty and the Beast?
• Retell the story from all the animals that have appeared in the story, switching point of view to and from each animal to keep the flow of the story? 
• A funny portion of the story can be seen in Jove's (Zeus) listing of all the ways Cupid has betrayed him whilst Cupid begs for his help. Even though Zeus grants his wishes, perhaps keeping with this theme I retell the story starting with all the wrongs first? 
• Maybe tell the story as a bedtime story for Cupid and Psyche's daughter, Pleasure?

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All reading notes based off of Apuleius' Cupid and Psyche 

as translated into English by Tony Kline (2013).

Reading Notes: Cupid and Psyche Part A

Reading Notes

. . .

Cupid and Psyche, Part A 

(Psyche Honored by the People, Giordano)

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Retelling Ideas

• the intended audience for this story is the girl whose been kidnapped, would changing the audience change the way the story should be retold?
• Psyche was the youngest of three sisters, retelling the story from a jealous sister would change the tone of the story? (Note: I wrote this before I read how the sisters wept for the youngest daughter and abandoned their lovely homes to seek her out once again. I was going to change this note to showcase how loving the sister's were until I came to the portion entitled "The Jealousy of Psyche's Sisters, so I guess I predicted correctly!) 
• Or rather tell the story from the goddess, Venus', point of view: "who does this common mortal think she is?"
• Really intriguing to hear the traditional, more crass version of Cupid, rather than the love wielding cherub today's people would commonly think of. 
• the dread of the wedding reminded me of Persephone and Hades, possibly comparing the stories would be a fun retelling? Maybe act as though Persephone, Psyche and Belle (Beauty and the Beast) are speaking of their husbands in private?  
• Cupid was adamant about Psyche never seeing him as he was of divine power, what if we were to switch such and have Venus embrace Psyche having her seduce Cupid as training of sorts?
• Rather than change the point of view or characters placement in the tale, why not change the location to base it in reality? Maybe in a California high school or the Joseon dynasty? 

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All reading notes based off of Apuleius' Cupid and Psyche 

as translated into English by Tony Kline (2013).